The Last Post

I have really enjoyed myself on our little ride. The puffing and panting, the rain, the wind, the idiot drivers, the shocking road surfaces and the aching backside will not be the main memories. They will be replaced by the scenery, the wild life, the people and places where we stayed. Even dressing in Lycra for that long will be forgotten. I will however, never forget the crucial part played by Sudocrem.

Now it is all over I will have to revert back to a more sensible diet and it is going to be hard. Fifteen Full English or Scottish breakfasts have been a bit of a treat. We really have eaten what we liked including cake with morning and afternoon breaks and a full lunch and dinner. The energy bars that were bought have remained largely uneaten due to their tasting like pooh and the availability of chocolate.

Cycling for 5 ½  hours a day for fourteen days with the same companion has resulted in some strange and amusing conversations. The back-up team has caught us laughing at stuff that I am sure they could not find funny. On several occasions it was inferred that we were in fact, due to the arduous nature of our task, on the edge of hysteria. This of course is not true as we always found our drivel to be erudite, pertinent and humorous. Ha......Ha Ha......Ha Ha Ha! 

Is there going to be another challenge, well speak to Gary, as he was the fool who came up with this one. Signing off for the last time on this blog. Enjoy below a Glossary of Terms that have arisen on this trip and also a list of useless information !

Glossary of Terms

Draught;      Slipstreaming (don’t do this in the rain unless very thirsty)     

Dietary Supplements;     in our case, taken totally inadvertently, because it’s difficult to keep your mouth closed whilst panting up a hill.

Take the weight off your twer’nt;      The clean version being that the twer’nt is the place where a gentleman’s anatomy comes into contact with the saddle.

“Oi   …..ing get back here!”     Gary’s attempt at talking to the animals. ( A deer made off before he could bring the camera on his phone to bear.)

Defunct Airline;   To describe a particularly difficult hill. (Not BEA, the other one.)

A Bell Ringer;    A pothole severe enough for my bell to ring by itself.

Useless Information

Cycled 1044 miles

Average speed 14.2 mph

Average cadence ( speed we turned the pedals per minute ) was 80 throughout the period

Average daily mileage on bike 73.5

Average time in saddle daily 5.17 hours

Total time in saddle 72.3 Hours

Total turns on pedals 347830 each !!

Total counties passed through 20

Overall mileage 2400 driven by support van

Our views on the accommodation and restaurants sampled over the two weeks

Best B & B - Muddifords Court Country House, Cullompton, Tiverton http://www.muddifordscourtcountryhouse.co.uk/

Best Breakfast - Hilton Lodge, Dornoch
www.hiltonlodgebedandbreakfast.co.uk/

Best Dinners - Red Lion, near St Tudy.  Douglas Arms, Langholm and Luigis in Dornoch  http://www.luigidornoch.com/

Best View -  Ben Loyal Hotel, Tongue
http://www.benloyal.co.uk/

Best Shower - Ye Olde Talbot, Worcester
www.oldenglishinns.co.uk/worcester/

Best Bath - Muddifords Court Country House, Cullompton, Tiverton

Biggest Bed - Hilton Lodge, Dornoch

Best Duvet - Border House, Langholm

Smallest Bed and Shower - Sunnybank, Sennen and Border House, Langholm

Longest wait for dinner - Ye Olde Talbot, Worcester

Best Value for Money - Preston Premier Inn for B/B and dinner.

Friendliest/Most Helpful Staff - The Garth, Granton on Spey, Premier Inn, Preston and Muddifords, Thrumpster House, Wick. 
www.garthhotel.com/

Award for faded glory, Thrumpster House, Wick, Scotland www.thrumster.co.uk/

Best impression of chocolate box B&B pipped at the post for best breakfast, Polrode Guest House, St Tudy, Cornwall www.polrodeguesthouse.co.uk/

Day 14 - John o'Groats

The Final Leg….

Yes the sun was shining on us today, and we have to say the views from the rooms at the hotel of choice were superb to say the least, with water to one side and fantastic mountain ranges to the other.

Our day finished yesterday at the top of Bettyhill, where the ever faithful support crew collected us, this time we travelled west wards to a hotel for the overnight stay in a place called Tongue, a venue the girls had researched and as said earlier the views were well worth it.

We were reliably informed by locals, that the route we had mapped out along the north coast was truly rewarding, the small but valid point that had been missed out on the praise of our decision was b....y Hills again, lots of them, but hey we are getting very very used to them now !!!.

We had decided to take a small deviation to the route to visit Dunnet Head, which is in fact for the uninitiated, the most northerly point of mainland Britain, and yes they only way to get to it is strangely up a 5 mile long hill, and obviously into a northerly wind, the benefit if you can call it that , is it is downhill on the way back.

After our detour we resumed our course to John O’ Groats, now firmly on the last leg of the journey, all quite excited that we were now going to achieve the goal of End to End.

We finally crossed the line at about 3.30pm, still enjoying the luxury of sunshine, it soon became apparent that absolutely no expense was ever budgeted for in making the most of this natural tourist attraction, apart from the fact that for the first time in days we were able to enjoy a Costa Coffee, how’s that for timing ?

Have since obviously opted for champagne though.

This brings us to the end of our End to End journey, we did it, and we are very proud of the fact we didn’t walk a step, not bad for a couple of old farts on  tour………

Please note :

This blog has not quite finally ended just yet, as we will also be posting a few thoughts / observations that have happened during the course of our journey, and naturally the listing the obligatory useless facts that none of you will be the slightest bit interested in.

The Old Farts and the very very patient and efficient support crew , whom both Chris and I owe a great deal to

59 miles average speed 14.0 mph

Day 14: Bettyhill - John O'Groats

Boys Completed at 15.25 this afternoon update to follow

Day 13 Dornoch to Bettyhill.

The boys getting ready for their penultimate day.

Another very good B&B with probably the best breakfast so far, certainly the biggest, most comfortable bed.
The day took us to the North coast but was surprisingly flat only rising from sea level to 200 metres,but across some very empty space. Good progress was made although the wind which was billed as westerly was stubbornly against us, hence our 13.9 average.

Coffee was had at The Shin Falls Visitor Centre, a miracle created by the Scottish Tourist Board. The falls themselves were not very high, in fact on some of the days we have been up steeper torrents of water. Salmon have nothing on us when it comes to getting upstream.

We made lunch at a place, I use the term place in the loosest possible way, called the Crask Inn, it was truly miles from anywhere. It was just cliche after cliche. The building was really a house which had apparently not been decorated since the fifties and had a bar placed in one of the rooms. There were no lights on anywhere, presumably to save money.The proprietor was a dour Scot dressed in full dirty farmer's garb including outdoor boots and tatty jumper.

There was no menu and he said that he could manage toasted sandwiches and that there was soup although maybe not enough for four. The soup on arrival turned out to be leek and potato which our host whilst serving, managed to put his not too clean thumb, in all three bowls.When it came to paying he, just made it up and we did have a conversation in which our jokes fell on deaf ears and he actually said "We don't have fun here."

Most of the day was travelled on an A-road which had passing places, see pics. it was so empty that even the RAF seem to avoid it as too boring.

I have learnt a serious lesson today; don't try to turn on your rear light whilst in motion without looking. I have retained all my fingers, but it was close.

                     

In the Ben Loyal Hotel which has fabulous views and no hot water. Last day tomorrow 50 miles to JO'G and of course the last few hills.

68 miles. Average 13.9 mph

Day 12 Grantown on Spey - Dornorch

After a superb meal at the Garth Hotel (Angus Steaks) and a good nights rest, we awoke to glorious sunshine and readied ourselves for the near closing section of our adventure.

Sunscreen on, shades to protect the eyes, Chris and I were off.  We got a good 4 miles before it was too cold and we put our jackets on.  Never mind though, not raining, and we had a pretty good idea of where we were going, only 2 turn offs to the coffee point. 

Well, I know you ar not going to believe it, but we only managed to get 50% of these right!! Yup, we missed the second one! We asked a "local" cyclist.  He knew where we needed to go and sent us off in the wrong direction.  This time though even our ever patient support crew missed it, phew!!

Another route was rapidly discussed, meeting up for coffee and cakes as per the norm. Guess what? the heavens opened!

Midway through yesterday, and somewhat frustratingly, my digital readout developed an intermittant fault at just under 800 miles, so we will now be using Chris's for the rest of the trip.

We have now arrived at Dornoch, having completed over 900 miles, with a little over 150 to go.  We have seen our first sign saying John O Groats, and with that our journey continues tomorrow.

76 Miles Average speed 14.1 mph

Day 11 Braemar to Grantown-on-Spey

We overnighted in the Fife Arms which had apparently last been refurbished in the reign of the Old King.

We managed to annoy two coach loads of touring pensioners from Glasgow by accidentally pushing in the breakfast queue and set off relatively early in sunshine. Bizarre I know, but we could see the hills and everything.  We even went in short sleeves!

Off we pedalled for what was supposed to be a short day, so happy that we immediately cocked up on the navigation front. Now you have to believe that this is not easy when there are only three roads within 2 million acres of this part of Scotland, but we cycled blithely on for about two miles before we realised.

We retraced our tyre tracks to the correct route which consisted of a very small B-road to UP. It really was very up, so up in fact that when we got to the top the RAF tornados looked as though they were below us. We still haven’t walked uphill which is not bad for two old farts.

We passed through The Lecht Ski area which along with Glenshee  yesterday, reminded me not to ski in Scotland. We did however wonder, how much we could get for a snow cannon on E-bay as there were several just lying around doing nothing.

After The Lecht we had a lovely run down to Toumintal for coffee and cake then a quite hilly run to here.

I really do have to stop now and go somewhere else as somebody has started to play the Bagpipes, no honestly right outside the window. It proves to me that the only way to listen to bagpipes is through binoculars.
49 miles. 13.1 average

Day 10 North Queensferry – Braemar

The day starts well, no wind to speak of, dry but overcast, what could possibly go wrong……!!!

Reading the map just too easy after 700 miles!  Well we thought it would be a good idea to deviate slightly as it seemed a much better idea.  Nope, bad idea, especially if you don’t realise for little while!!  Fortunately our back up crew was able to meet up with us and sustain us with coffee and biscuits. No problem there then!

Lunch followed in Blairgowie after which we returned to the van to refill water bottles and yes you guessed it, it started to rain and rain and rain, real wet stuff.  Nothing for it we would have to press on.  So off we went …… down the wrong road…….twice in one day!

We only went some 4/5 miles down the road (couldn’t see for the rain), this time though we were the wrong side of a very large hill and our only option was over the top with the rain running rivers down the roads at us.  Eventually we managed to get back onto the right road and were met by our trusted support crew, who again, after much mirth and reference to crap map reading abilities, gave us coffee and biscuits to warm us up.

Now all we had to do was the main challenge of the day, a 2200 foot climb up an over The Spittal of Glenshee.  Easy eh! Wind in your face and a 1:10 gradient.  Took a number of goes to get up that, but we did and still no walking, what an achievement.  We were rewarded with incredible views through the valley on the way down, including deer on the hillside.

A short note to finish off with  “Happy Birthday ta ye Dunc” love the old farts and the trusty support team xxx

More to follow as our journey now nears its end.

90 miles 13.3mph